Valve: The Breakup Letter

Valve logoOh Valve, how I adored you. Our meeting was marked by fingertips brushing accidentally on purpose on the sleek shrinkwrap cover of Half-Life, and as your tram powered around my track I knew I wanted to be allowed to fill that vacancy in theoretical physics. When your one-eyed monster erupted green lightning at me I knew it was love.

The times we have shared I will never forget. Our first kiss, an explosion in the anomalous materials lab. Through you I found Xen, and then under the watchful eye of the G-Man we both found zen.

As the years went by our love grew only more devoted; you were my faithful partner, whose presence I knew I could always count on. In the heady happy days of our youth we visited Italy together and browsed melons and chickens at the market in the sunshine, laughing as they blew out into clouds of red, and was it just my imagination or did those intestines loop into a heart shape as they spiralled through the air?

And then the bad times came, and the sunshine was gone. We lived in our own fortress together, battered by the storms outside. We survived, we were a team. We were more than a team. Where my friends had turned away from me and their passions had turned to money, I knew that your passion was still me. I knew I loved you, and I knew that you loved me.

I thought that love would last forever. I was wrong. One day I ran to you, tired from a day of work in my grey office prison, looking for the solace of your arms. And you extended your perfectly crafted arm, and gently halted me. I stood baffled and despairing as you asked me to pay for your love.

The fortress of our love had been breached, as though a portal had opened and whatever precious ocean upon which we had floated had drained away. I knew this was the day of our love’s defeat. Already I miss you, and I know in my heart there will be nobody to replace you, nobody I will ever love as fiercely. Without you it feels that I’m living half a life.

From the rubble that is left of the fortress which together we once occupied in love I can see you walking away to join the horde of my old friends on the horizon. I can reflect and say you’re no more gone than they are; that I can still be your friend.

But I know that we were once so much more than that. And forgive me if I can’t forgive you, give me some sympathy for the heart you drove an alien appendage through. And if I hate you now, it’s only because I loved you then.


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December 2010
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